In 2009 i did my first meditation to meet my spirit guide. In my mind, i could see her, and i believe i knew her name (Eliza), but i couldn't hear her speak. I could see her mouth move, but no sound came out. To deal with this, i started using tarot as a medium. I'd speak directly to my guide and ask her to answer my questions with tarot cards. It work amazingly well and, eventually, i didn't need the cards anymore. I could hear her.
Two more guides joined me over the years: Nitak and Mark. Nitak became my "main" guide as Eliza slipped into the background, retreating to her temple and closing the door. Mark was my reiki/healing guide. He'd always help me when i was doing a reiki session.
And that's how it went for a long time: i'd chat with my two guides during meditations, when i was praying, doing mediumship and healing, or really any other time i needed support to guidance.
It was earlier this year that i had a breakthrough about the nature of spirituality, and about reiki specifically (TLDR; an attunement is not necessary for any spiritual work. You can connect to the divine source on your own and do, well, anything!).
To better communicate with my guides, and to deepen my spiritual practice, i created my sacred space using a technique found in The Quest of the Radical Spiritualist by Robert Egby. In it, Egby describes creating a place in your mind. A garden, perhaps, or maybe a castle. Plan out all the details, and do all of your meditation/mediumship/healing/etc from this space. Naturally loving floor plans and maps, i jumped at an opportunity to create something awesome.
Most of the space was just a vague wilderness, and there were only a few areas i would visit. In the upper right you can see Eliza's temple. I only went there once or twice. The interior of the temple was the exact room i first met her in. Mostly, i just liked that when i entered the space (in the entrance plaza, bottom center) i could see her temple in the distance; it reminded me of the progression in my journey.
When i started meditating, i'd see myself in the entrance plaza facing Eliza's temple. I'd turn to my right and start walking toward the Temple of Spirit. At the first intersection, though, i'd hook another right and walk by the mediumship temple, and typically end up at the healing temple, where Mark would help me learn to use reiki energy.
It went on this way for years. I'd meet Nitak at the mediumship temple to connect with spirits. sometimes i would even imagine myself at the temple of spirit with Nitak while i was doing yoga. It was relaxing and centering to imagine myself walking through a landscape i created, while still discovering new things within it.
Nitak and Mark both taught me valuable lessons in this place. Nitak pressed me to connect more deeply with Spirit. Mark revealed to me the fluidity and openness of reiki, as well as all energy healing practices.
In 2017 my world shifted drastically, and practices like this one helped me move through the waves.
In 2020 the whole world shifted drastically and i found myself studying the occult more and searching for my own Truth, my own understanding. Studying Gnosticism and revisiting sacred and apocryphal texts of Christianity added a new depth to how i interacted with the world, how i saw the divine, how i felt life. These new interests existed parallel to my practice of visualization meditation and communicating with my guides. I never found myself talking to Nitak or Mark about gnosis.
That is, until recently.
Yesterday I had a regular distance healing session with a client (shameless pluggg) and it felt...off. My visualization of my sacred garden was hazy and difficult to get a grip on. I saw both the mediumship and the healing temples disappear, and myself and my guides moved to the temple of spirit.
I assumed this, in and of itself, was progression. I was starting to see all these different abilities and modalities as what they truly are: the same thing. I sent energy to my client in the temple of spirit with Nitak and Mark by my side. Though, my connection with them was weak. They phased in and out of sight. Neither seemed like they were helping me at all.
Even drawing the reiki symbols brought no flow of energy. They felt lifeless. It was like a switch turned off.
That evening i meditated on the changes in my meditation and the answers came from Nitak and Mark extraordinarily fast:
You don't need this place anymore. You don't need us anymore. We have always been a part of you.
And with that they were gone. But, not really. I can still feel all of them with me, but as a structural part of myself, not as an external being.
I'm not sure what any of this mean just yet, but i haven't experienced a change like that in a long time; those photos are from 2016. I've been doing reiki in that healing temple for at least 4 years.
Here's to the next step, whatever it might be